There are a lot of great fathers out there, but we’ve got a clear favorite: he’s the seven time winner of #1 Dad, the World’s Best Farter & Father, our very own…DADA!
We got the band back together (literally) for one last time, Dada, to perform our new hit single, Farter’s Day. Happy Farter’s, we mean, Father’s Day, Dada.
Hazelbert (Bert) & Georgie Burgles (Duke)
I’m so old, I didn’t even have a bounce house party this year. I had a spy party, and my secret agent name was Chief Agent and Georgie’s was Agent Junior and we talked on walkie talkies and saved Princess BooBooButt’s royal jewels.
Here’s some other stuff that I do now that I’m 7:
- I read chapter books, like Stink and the Incredible Super-Galactic Jawbreaker.
- I play on a big kid soccer team with real games and everything, and I take it pretty seriously, unlike some people (cough, cough, Navy Blueberries).
- I’m more sensible now. That’s why I want to be an accountant (thanks, Game of Life!) instead of a lion.
- I chew gum, but very, very quietly because Mama has misophonia.
- I’ve got a better toy than dada now.
- I have a job and I make $7/week (I got a raise!).
- I grumble about my job a lot, mostly the bathroom cleaning part and the table setting part.
- My life may not be a consistent 10 out of 10 anymore, instead it ranges from -55 to 18,000-million.
For more, see my latest video:
aka, Ask Hazy, Season 2, Episode 2
On today’s episode, we answer another question from fan favorite Brad R. Warning: this episode contains mature content like kissing and high fives.
If you have a question for a future episode, please leave it in the comments section. Not on Facebook!
Guys, it’s been a while since the highly anticipated Season 2 launch of Ask Hazy. We’ve been in production on new episodes for quite a bit, and I think this one is timely. I’ll cut to the chase: I’d make a great president.
You can learn more about my platform in Episode 2: President Hazy.
Mama asked if we had any New Year’s resolutions; we said no. Then she asked if we knew what resolutions meant; we said no. Now we know and we made some.
- I want to learn how to ride my bike without training wheels.
Imagine these training wheels weren’t here. Pretty cool, right?
2. I also want to ride the city bus to school. Mama says I’ve already done this, but these are my resolutions and this is our blog, so FACE.
1. I want to learn to draw.
I mean, I can draw, but maybe could do better. (These are smiley faces.)
2. I also want to learn to rip pages out of coloring books, which sounds oddly specific but we were in the car at the time and I had just demonstrated my complete lack of skill at ripping pages out of coloring books, so yeah.
Mama also suggested some other resolutions for us, namely being nicer to each other and trying more new foods, but we’ll stick to the above. Thanks anyway, Mama.
Happy New Year, everybody!
-Bert & Duke
Once again, we got out our satiny caftan loungers, wig collection, and squid hat, and shot our annual holiday card. The photo shoot involves a lot of yelling by Mama and Dada about staying on our marks (whatever that means), looking “over here,” and smiling, so much smiling.
You try smiling while someone maniacally yells, “Smile!”
Here’s the back of the card:
And as promised, here are the answers to, “What’s the one thing you should never do over the holidays?”:
We don’t know what they’re talking about with the crying.
Happy (belated) Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Oma’s Birthday, Happy New Year!
– Bert & Duke
Do you remember what it was like when you were 4? I do, because I am. It’s a pretty exciting age, because you can do EVERYTHING yourself, including PUTTING ON YOUR OWN TOOTHPASTE, GETTING YOUR OWN WATER OUT OF THE FRIDGE DISPENSER, USING A KNIFE, and yelling at your parents about how you can indeed do all these things BY YOURSELF. Also, I can read, or a tleast fake it really, really well based on the powers of memorization and train passion.
Here’s where I tell you everything you need to know about my life:
In case you wondered, this is what little 3-year old me had to say about similar topics. And here’s what Bert was like when she was 4.
-George (Duke), Age 4