How To Ride On A Plane

I love airplanes! When I see them in the sky, I get really excited and yell, “Airplane!”. So, you can imagine my excitement when Mama told me I was gonna get to fly in the sky in an airplane. Bert and I recently went to visit our Nana and Auntie Juju in CANADA (pictures to follow), which was awesome. Our flight to CANADA was about an hour and 20 minutes. Here’s what you’re supposed to do on the plane, or at least, here’s what I did:

• Wear your own (bumblebee) backpack and wheel your own (camo, monogrammed) suitcase like a boss.
• Sit next to the window and open the shade.
• Close the shade – loudly.
• Whine about the shade being closed.
• Yell, “I open it!” when your mama opens it for you.
• Open the shade.
• Close the shade.
• Repeat 8 times until Mama says, “no more opening and closing the shade! Pick one!”
• Open the shade.
• Insist on BUCKLING YOURSELF even though you can’t buckle yourself.
• Cry.
• See panicked look on Mama’s face.
• Cry-scream.
• Sink down into seat so seatbelt is around your neck, yelling, “I don’t want this!”
• Attempt to knock down Mama’s wine that Dada has ordered for her at 10 am.
• Cry-scream like you’ve never cry-screamed before. Yell, “I WANT TO GET UP!” and “DON’T WANT THIS SEAT BELT!”.
• Increase volume as Mama repositions you in seat and rebuckles seatbelt.
• When flight attendant walks by, unbuckle seat belt and slide off of seat.
• Cry-scream louder, drowning out your mama’s apologies to surrounding passengers.
• Pass out, exhausted from cry-screaming.
• Wake up as the pilot announces we’re beginning our initial departure and recommence cry-screaming.
• Sniffle and hiccup as everyone departs plane, and then announce the obvious, “I didn’t like that.”

It’s as easy as that! Let me know if you have any questions.
- Duke

What We Did On Our Summer Vacation

Oh my God, SO MANY THINGS!

Here’s just a small taste:

  • Made friends with Micki, who is sweet and smiley and pretty good at sand castles
  • Met Lynnie, who spoils us rotten. Hooray for Lynnie!
  • Buried our new friend Micki, which isn’t as bad as it sounds.
  • Went down a sand slide.
  • Pouted.
  • Seriously, this Micki girl is pretty fun, guys.
  • Discovered this bucket.
  • Loaded 16 tons of ocean water.
  • Attempted a mild summer romance with Micki.
  • Made a hand-holding move on Micki.
  • Got rejected by Micki.
  • Put feet in the ocean with Mama.
  • Made a hand-holding move on Jyll, was not rejected.
  • Pulled a Zoolander with Micki and the Singtrix machine. The files are in there somewhere!
  • Dominated the Singtrix stage.
  • Watched Teela & Mama “sing”/drink margaritas.
  • Watched Bryan play coffee shop.
  • Took a Madonna-singing class from Teela.
  • Attempted to reunite Fart Machine, but infighting broke us up (again).
  • Skipped stones with Dada.
  • Held hands with Mama (take that, Micki!)
  • Watched Dada and his friends recreate the beginning of 90210.
  • What’s 90210?
  • Looked for treasures with Grandma Lynn and Micki.
  • Ran in super slow motion, Baywatch style.
  • Watch and learn, Hasselhoff.
  • Pioneered new beach fashion.
  • Did a dual ocean pee.
  • Enjoyed the view.
  • Held each other’s hand.

Not pictured:

  • Built 100 magnatile homes.
  • Cried when Micki ruined 99 magnatile homes.
  • Ate tons of mac & cheese.
  • DID NOT NAP.

Many many thanks to Lynnie, who put up with all our hijinks and hosted us at her totally awesome house on the totally beautiful beach where we would like to spend all our days.

- Bert & Duke

I’m now 5 1/6 years old.

So, without further ado, here are some pictures from my third consecutive Bounce House Extravaganza Birthday Party. The Big 0-5. Frozen Edition.

If you want to watch my Official 5-Year Old Interview, click here.

Yours,

- Bert

The Rules

Video

 

Before we went to our dear friend Lynnie’s for Memorial Day weekend, Mama had us review The Rules for visiting people. Here they are for your reference:

If you don’t feel like watching the video, this about sums them up:
No crying
No running
No punching
No kicking
No hitting
Use our words, like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, please and thank you
No whining
Seriously no punching
And for real, no running
Do good sleeping in our beds (or don’t)

- Bert & Duke

Update: We did not follow all the rules, but we were pretty good about no punching. So there’s that.